Revenge of the Bad Girls
by chasingafterstarlight
Summary: What happens when Sam Puckett and Jade West meet up? Bad things, that's what. An AU version of iParty With Victorious, with plenty of humor and Sam/Jade friendship.


**Revenge of the Bad Girls**

Sam & Jade friendship, **AU of iParty With Victorious**

Jade West has never really enjoyed parties.

Namely ones where she and her boyfriend get stuck in a Jacuzzi with a slightly older guy that they don't even know, and then _Sikowitz_ pops up halfway through, thoroughly freaking her out but leaving Beck unperturbed, as always.

So she gets out of the hot tub, rapidly toweling herself off, and leaving Beck with a mortified huff. She can hear his calls of "Babe, wait!" but she ignores them because she is a _girl_ _on a mission_.

That is, until she runs into some random girl with a pickle.

"Would you watch where you're going?" Jade snaps, resisting the urge to punch her with the skull ring on her finger.

"You're telling me to watch where you're going?" the blonde raises an eyebrow, taking another bite out of the pickle in her hand. "Clearly, you don't know who you're talking to."

"Clearly, I do know who I'm talking to," Jade retorts, tone coated in ice. "I'm talking to a girl with a stupid pickle that ran into me."

"Well, look here, freak of nature-" the girl begins, but behind her, a strong hand lands on her shoulder at the same time that strong arms wrap their arms around Jade's waist. She doesn't have to turn around to know who it is, and she doubts that the girl does either.

"Beck," she states, as if it's fact, and she hears the low laugh rumble behind her.

"Getting in fights already, Jade?" he asks, and his lips press to the top of her head. "Honestly. Just because you get _scared_ by a freak in a hot tub doesn't mean-"

"I was not _scared_, Beck," she hisses, turning around. "I was merely surprised. Besides, this _pickle_-eating girl stepped in my way, what was I to do? Let it go?"

"Yes," Beck states as if it should be obvious.

"Get away from me," Jade hisses, eyes flashing dangerously.

"I'm going to get us some drinks," Beck informs her, patting her shoulder sweetly. "Play nice, will you? We don't need you getting into fights at random parties."

"Don't tell me what to do," she calls to Beck's retreating back, before turning to the girl, who's fighting with a brunette boy, and it quite reminds her of her and Beck, pre-relationship.

"Look, Sam," the dorky looking boy says, "I'm just saying that if you get into a fight, it will clearly affect this whole plan. Carly's depending on you, and come to think of it, I'm depending on you too! We just need the cover for a little bit longer."

A devilish smile spreads across the blonde girl's face. "Fine. I'll play nice." As the boy finally walks off, she turns back to Jade with a bit of a smirk, the same one that Jade normally wears around Tori. "That your boyfriend?"

"Yes." Her voice is smooth as silk. "That yours?"

"Of course not," the girl's tone takes on a disgusted tone. "Look, are you friends with that Stephen kid at all?"

"No," Jade replies as if it _should_ be obvious. "I hate him."

"You know," the girl says in a creepy sort of way, "I think I like you, and I don't like many people."

Jade stares at her, raising her eyebrow. "Why? You got a big crush on that Stephen kid or something? Because he's dating my _not_ friend Tori, and I don't think she'd appreciate-"

"No way," the girl looks really angry all of a sudden. "He's dating my best friend Carly… at least, he said he was."

Jade's blue eyes narrowed into slits, and she put her hands on her hips before she laughed. "I don't care. If he wants to play two girls, then let him. It's his own stupid decision if he thinks that they won't find out or-"

Glaring fiercely, the girl informs Jade, "Well, he's messing around with _my_ best friend, and if he thinks he can get away with it without Mama coming for him then-"

Jade cuts her off. "Who _are _you?"

Rolling her eyes, the girl puts her hand on her hip, obviously not much for manners. "Sam Puckett. iCarly co-host, meat lover, apparently aggressive and experienced in the ways of illegal things. And you are?"

Looking bored (or disturbed) as usual, Jade shrugs. "Jade West. Hollywood Arts student, actress, singer, not the nicest person in the world and perfectly fine with that. I could give you a list of things that I _hate_, if you want?"

"No, that's okay," Sam laughs. "Just, you enjoy pain, right?"

"Very much," Jade pushes her brown hair behind her ear. "And your point is?"

"My _point_," Sam smiles, "is that if we team up, we can get revenge on this boy and possibly cause him pain and not get in trouble with our _friends_ for being mean. Revenge is sweet, right?"

An evil laugh(well, really, it's her normal laugh, but it sounds evil) spills out of Jade's mouth, but when she shuts up, a smile tugs at the edges of her lips. "You're positive those idiots I sometimes call my friends won't say a thing?"

"Positive," Sam grins at her.

"I'm in, then," Jade marches off, leaving a confused Sam in her wake. "Revenge, pain, and evil plots are some of the only things that I don't hate. So long as said evil plans don't involve ducks."

"I hate ducks," Sam shudders.

Smirking, Jade nods. "Don't we all."

…

They end up in an abandoned closet, which is fine with Jade, as she rather adores closets, and meetings in closets are all the more mysterious for evilly plotting.

But once they get there, Sam pulls out a stick of salami and starts to munch on it. Jade raises an eyebrow.

"What?" Sam asks, her mouth full of food. "You can't expect me to actually do anything, can you?"

"Yes," Jade grits her teeth, annoyed with this girl, though of course she _would_ prefer to not do anything at all, but honestly, if they're going to evilly plot, at least one of them has to do something, and she would rather it be _Sam_. "I can. If we're going to evilly plot-"

"You'll come up with the plot," Sam smiles sweetly. "And I'll do all of the dirty work. It's called a partnership."

"Look," Jade begins, "d'you want me to take that stick of salami and shove it up your-"

Sam interrupts her. "_Chill_. How about we just paint the kid silver, shove him in the oven, and claim he's a baked tuna while feeding him to small children?"

"That's stupid," Jade hisses, rolling her eyes.

"You're stupid," Sam retorts childishly before rolling her eyes. "What do _you_ suggest we do then, almighty _Jade West_?"

She thought for a second, and when Jade thought, things happened- or things _would_ happen, at least. Finally, her blue eyes lit up as if she had a plan- which of course, she did. Smiling wickedly once again, she informs Sam, "I have a plan."

After she'd explained it, Sam's eyes lit up. "You're a genius."

Jade stretches out, and smiling, she replies, "I know."

Their (Jade's) plan is set into action not twenty minutes later. They don't bother working out the loopholes- after all, with two evil geniuses like them, what can go wrong?

_Everything_.

…

"I hate you," Jade hisses, combing out her wet brown hair. "Look, I'm now covered in dirty _fish_ water. When I said _break the fish tank, _I meant break it on that idiot boy, not on me!"

"Sorry," Sam shrugs as if it's no big deal, and really, the blonde is basically unaffected. "I stopped listening after _break the fish tank_."

"I suppose it's not your fault that your mental capacity is nearly the same as my boyfriend's," Jade hisses, combing her hair rapidly once again. "I still hate you, though."

"I know," Sam grins wickedly. "Have I told you how hot you look?"

"No," Jade grins, as if she's about to take in a compliment.

"Good," Sam continues, "because I wasn't going to tell you that, anyway."

Jade's fist connects with Sam's arm, but the girl doesn't even wince. Instead, she walks off, before turning to face Jade once again. "What do you say we come up with another plan, this one better-thought out than the last?"

"My plan was well thought out," Jade hisses, biting her lip to keep from yelling. "It's not my fault that you're an imbecile that can't understand simple directions-"

Sam walks off, not even bothering to listen to what she's talking about. "So, what do you say this plan involves meat, and lots and lots of it? Oh, and-"

"Fake blood," Jade hisses, a smile taking over her face. "Lots and lots of fake blood. I have a couple of gallons because my… friend, if you can call her that, gave me far too much. She's unable to comprehend simple directions, just like some people I know-"

"I like fake blood," Sam grins deviously. "Meat and fake blood. Me gusta."

"Spanish," Jade scowls. "The language of hobos."

"So, are we going to get down on this plan or not?" Sam smirks, pushing a blonde curl behind her ear. "Because I don't have time to waste."

…

Sam's whistle echoes through the building, and Jade takes it as a signal to put the plan into action. Frowning, she lets go of the rope that she was so strictly instructed to let go of slowly- but she's not one to do things slowly, or do what she's told, so she just drops it to the floor.

Things are put into action more quickly than they should have. A vat of sticky fake blood is quickly dumped onto the boy- she's forgotten his name, once again, she only knows that she hates him. Afterward, a vat of feathers falls on to him. In the corner, she sees Sam munching on the meat from the chickens, her face lit up.

The boy looks like a chicken, which he must be. She sort of admires how smart he is, to be able to play girls, and have neither of them find out, but.

That's when Tori races over to the boy. Looking between him and Jade, she shrieks, "Jade, what have you done?"

"Ruined your life and your relationships, once again," Jade shrugs. "Nothing new, right?"

Tori's eyes blaze with fire. "Jade West. I can't believe you. You just can't handle the fact that I'm actually happy and-"

Walking up, Beck interrupts her. "Chill. She did you a favor."

"What?" Tori asks incredulously, raising an eyebrow. "How could this possibly be a favor?"

That's when a brunette girl, skinny and pretty and weak (the likeness of Tori in a different body), joins them, and Tori guesses that she must be Carly, Sam's best friend. With a saucy smile directed Tori's way, she says, "Nice to meet you. I'm Stephen's other girlfriend."

"You're kidding," Tori's eyes flash from Carly to the charm bracelet on her wrist, identical to the one that Carly's wearing. "…you're not kidding."

"No," Jade steps forward, smirk making its way onto her face again. "Now who's ruining your life, Vega?"

"Sorry," Tori laughs. "I just assumed that since every _other _time you were attempting to ruin my life, this time would be no different."

A smile makes its way onto Carly's face. "And I wonder who could've plotted this, anyway."

"Love me?" Sam holds out her arms, angelic smile upon her face.

Carly laughs and pulls Sam into a hug. Tori raises an eyebrow at Jade, who scowls. "Don't even think about it, Vega."

But Tori comes over nonetheless and wraps her 'friend' in a hug, against Jade's will. She mouths 'help me' to Sam, who quickly punches Tori in the arm (gently, Jade guesses, for a girl like her). Tori lets go immediately, shaking her head as she looks between Jade and Sam. "This your new partner in crime or soul sister or whatever, now?"

"Never say that again," Jade hisses coldly.

"Say what?" The gentle curve of Tori's lips indicates that the entire situation amuses her.

But Carly, who seems to be some sort of peacekeeper, starts up some music and they all begin to sing like they're in some comedy movie with a terribly-written ending.

(Jade sort of wonders if this is what it's like to be a hero.)

…

Beck wraps an arm tightly around her shoulders as she turns to Sam, taking that as a signal that it's time for them to leave. She looks at her partner-in-crime. "It was… fun. The humiliation, especially."

"It was, wasn't it?" Sam grins at her, and Jade notices with a subtle grin that her hand is entwined with Freddie's (nobody lies to Jade West without her finding out). "We'll have to do it again sometime."

"Definitely," Jade agrees, saluting as Beck drags her off, whispering something about his parents (like she cares). But she manages to slip Sam her phone number- you know, just in case.

…

A few nights later, her phone rings with the Caller ID reading Sam.

Much to Beck's irritation, she picks up the phone. "Yes?"

"I've got a problem," Sam tells her.

"Do I need to come down there and cut a-" Jade questions, the end of her question cut off but the implication hanging heavy in the air.

"That would be nice," Sam responds. "Well, help me, because you know I can handle it on my own but-"

The line goes dead and Jade convinces Beck to drive her to Seattle. For the first time in a while, Jade feels like a good person.

She's not really, as she's helping to hurt someone, but whatever, it's helping out her 'partner-in-crime', right?

(Their revenge involves spray paint and destroying things. It gives them both a sick sense of satisfaction and Jade thinks maybe she's found someone else who understands, because, of course, Beck's always the first.)

**A/N: Just a small little fic I wrote out of inspiration given to me by Jenny (**_**inescapable scars**_**), so thanks, Jenny! :3**

**I just wanted to see them face off in iParty With Victorious, but I didn't get that, so I wrote this- it's completely AU :D**

**Read and review and don't favorite without reviewing unless you like mean PMs. ;)**


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